Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Tiredness Can Really be a Pain.....

I am not really feeling the joys of life tonight  , I had a good day all up but the overwhelming tiredness so gets to me at times ,like today.   I know I have to expect it ,and I don't get enough sleep   ,but  I hate not doing anything I think it's a waste of a day now to give into my body and it telling me to rest .  Silly probably, stupid definitely  ,   I'm a trained nurse too and a avid reader of google about everything my oncologist has told me NOT to research!

I think too, that keeping busy is therapeutic ,but sometimes I'm sure it's a coping mechanism ,so the horrible ,dark thoughts are kept at bay .   I've been told how well I cope and have faced everything ,which I do appreciate ,  but I see the worrying looks that people who love me give me, and  I get so sad ,for them for me ,for  everyone who has this horrible thing called cancer , but the one constant thought in my head everyday is "Thank god it's me who has it and not my precious children and grandchildren , or my fabulous nieces and nephews  "  and I'm going to be around for a long   long time to watch them all grow up .  That thought I think is the best medicine I can ever have.   

Right on to the reveal  of my table and chairs   ,I'm glad I imagined the worst of everything wrong   about it last night ,because  guess what it does of course!!!   have things wrong I mean   ,no borer as such but a lot more mould on one of the chairs ,and the table is more wobbly than I remembered , but I still love it and there is nothing that a bit/lot of TLC won't fix eventually .  I gave it a good clean and a polish with good old pledge!  my gosh that stuff has improved!!     Now you all  now know I don't normally use furniture polish  he he  ,I damp dust  all the time and that seems to suffice   ,most of my furniture is a Matt white or distressed   ,anyway now I have polished everything and I feel like  I have rediscovered an old  toy!!   I tell you it doesn't take much to make me happy these days !!


So there she is  , oh and thanks all for listening ,just writing things down tonight has lifted my spirits a lot . PS as much as vertical blinds are practical and easy to look after  ,Im longing to put something else window treatment wise up .just looking at thoses photos now it  so needs something else ,I  know the landlords wouldn't mind  ,any ideas anyone for cheap and pretty??

2 comments:

  1. I was really sad to read your post but i agree so much with you that writting things down helps. I am sorry to hear your feeling so tired i dont know what stage cancer your in or what you have but what i do know is that with a loving family by your side which you have it will give you strengh and courage to carry on. Big hugs to you. Table looks great ;-) dee x

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  2. Hi KIm you can join me on the tired train, I have an autoimmune illness and often need a doze when I get back from work, not as scary as cancer but still a pain in the rear, blogging can be a great help,I have made some great friends over this year I hope you will too.
    Cate x

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.Hi there ! All your comments are welcome ,ask me anything you like and I will try to answer ! don't be shy . Have a great day .