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Sunday, 18 December 2011

Xmas week and I'm not organised

I seem to have lost my Xmas mojo  , I still haven't shopped and I just feel its all too  much now .Terrible I know and it's only because I'm coming of that drug .
I hope the  joy of Xmas   comes back .  I have my appointment at Radiology on Wednesday ,that seems like too much effort too .I know I've got to get out of this funk ,  so I will be telling myself off all day ! t
There are children out there going through far far worse ,  indulging my misery is so selfish .  That's the shame of depression I guess , I know I can get through this ,just have to push myself .    I'm still sleeping a lot ,guess it's healing although I was having dreams about M all the time ,I got very upset as one dream was so real ,it was awful waking up ,we were having conversations ,laughing and it was so bittersweet . I miss him all over again ,I cried a lot that day ,the grief was  like new .I am expecting him to walk in the door again . 

    On a lighter  note look who came to visist our street on Saturday ! the fabulous Fire Brigade brought Santa to visit . it was  lovely watching the chidldren ,although T got shy and ran back inside ,Santa walked over the road to us and gave me the sweets to give to him lol  !    Ok ,mission of the day is to LIGHTEN UP  !!
crossing the road with sweets
Santa spotting us