Wednesday, 25 May 2011

*Dreaming*

Do you ever just day dream and wonder what you could be doing with your life ? I guess everyone does ,lately, or actually for awhile now, I dream of places to be . I'm reading under the Tuscan Sun while occasionally glancing out my windows to the rain steadily falling, showing that our winter is really here now,and boy am I dreaming! I've always wanted to travel but unbelievably I haven't ! life ,financial reasons etc etc have got in the way? or is it my own slackness ,my terrible tendency to procrastinate ,that has stopped me. I'm quite content Iguess and I have made many changes but heck I dream! . It's silly I'm so melancholy today ,tired and a bit more worried about where my life is going. In reality I know I have to focus on staying well or as well as Ican orI wont be doing anything! T and I often do talk about moving somewhere in NZ for about a year and this is what may happen. while he's young enough to adapt and if I find the place that suits us both we are probably going to do just that come spring. I haven't really discussed it with family or friends ,apart from joking around and voicing my Tuscany dreams out loud .I'm not running away from what I have but I would like to explore more of this change in my thinking and making more positive changes. There is so much to hold me back ,my health and my mother and grandchildren ,but one thing I do know is that life is too blimmen short and do I want to spend more time "dreaming?"...... food for thought . 
My poor T is not happy at all at the moment either ,a lot of sadness and grieving is coming up at the moment ,he is not sleeping well ,very irritable and lots of crying. He is doing a counselling programme through the school which i hope will help him tomorrow when he goes. that's the other thing should I take him away from what he knows ,his support etc just because I'm feeling like I am .He thinks it's a good idea but he's only 9 and I really have to think how it will affect him. so that is my rambling for the day . I must go and rescue my poor little pansies who have had a bit of a battering in this weather . I'm keeping an eye on another plant( pictured at the top) ,its supposed to start flowering for the winter soon , It's looking so healthy so here's hoping .I cant remember what it is called ,but it is of course purple coolured flowers ,I love any plants purple! and my lobelia has really finished looking so bright and beautiful.