I'm worrying about lots of things ,but this is okay too , I just need to get well!! and keep the depression at bay . I took some pics of myself, but honestly people I am not going to put them up ,talk about awful ,so bad I laughed! then looked in the mirror 30 or so times to see if I really do look that bad lol ! I don't (well not in a soft light hehe) so roll on makeup day !!! Its times like this I wish I was one of those natural beauties I tell ya!!
|my night life!!!|
|My morning wakeup !!|
m sure I'll remmeber these days with a certain fondness! cos its so not me really ! I've had this cancer for 2 years and have never really felt like a 'sick' person , quite a hard realisation that now I do ,and I guess a bit freeing to admit it in some ways ,because gosh, I do get so tired ,its a tiredness that seeps into your pores and its nothing really to do with lack of sleep , or the symptoms or the surgeries, i'ts just a tiredness that I think is natures way of saying ,"
Hey, ! you can be quiet , you can just sit ,You can cry with it , you can feel the pain in your head , your back , your feet , and it's okay to say it ....out loud . It's okay to shut out the chatter and the noise that goes on around you , while you just stop and feel ....everything . You can sigh and put your feet up and feel the tension ease ..instead of jumping up again ....and blocking it . ,because how can we heal if we ignore what our bodies are saying to us ,? If we are fighting to keep moving ,not resting ,busy busy busy , how can the good cells fight the bad , those armies are forming all the time, good cells need peace and calm , bad cells thrive on the go go go , so yes I'm tired but it's a good tired , a healing tired ,and I'm going with it because I want to be well .