I was on another site today and a thread caught my attention . I won't go into too much detail as privacy should be respected but basically it was about altruism . I looked up the meaning again just to get it right in my head. A truly altruistc person does not want or need recognition for their unselfishness ,the argument I read about today involved money and the person to me did not come across as altruistic at all , they were doing and had done very good things but it jarred me and others when money for their website was mentioned . I was quite saddened by the whole thing really ,it involved a family with a terrible illness and the things that good poeple had done for them . I have never wanted, or asked ,or got any monetary help at all even though I have been accused of it . I was asked why am I doing this blog and why am so public in talking about my life , it is simply because I want to ,and the writing helps me immensely ,and to be honest I don't think many read it anyway or if they do they choose not to comment as you can see. That is fine by me because as I said it is for me to help me to heal . One other thing that stuck in my mind too as this certain family doesn't seem to be using the support groups etc that are already establised , I rely heavily on my support network , I honestly dont know what I would without the. Cancer society ,the Neurological ward social worker ,the advocate from there who rings me every couple of days ,my gp (lol) ,I have or make a phone call to at least one of these every day. I am also going to link up with the brain injury or a support group for those with brain tumours after the holidays.
I'm wondering if I could make contact with this family
and just say I'm here if they'd like someone to talk to , she intimated that she got very lonely and I think that is sad . I will sit on the fence about everything else re their help and the argument that maybe they have recieved too much
as we cannot know what it is like , but I really do think they are not getting the support that they really need to meet their emotional needs. I get so upset when I think of children battling cancer ,and I thank god every day that I'm the one sick and not my children .
There is nothing more difficult then dealing with a family member with a chronic or terminal (I hate that word) I should know as I am the difficult one !! they ( family) are finding it extremely hard ,I know ,but I cant help them deal with it as I've got so much going on and I do feel guilty at times ,but I also want to scream and say ,this is how I am ,it may be temporary, it may not but I cant deal with your overt misery at times , things get so misconstrued because they forget that I'm not the same person . I can act totally normal most of the time so I can see why the think this, all they have to do is ask me and get the bloody story straight . I'm sick of being looked at like I'm the b from h and yet they have got the story wrong anyway !! I'm ill and some days ,like today when I've had a headache again all day ,I'm even worse . I can really see why people start to isolate from everyone because it is just so hard.
Wow that was a wee (big) pity party wasn't it! arg it's just what's in my head .
On a lighter note 3 more sleeps untill my middle son arrives for a week or so ,I can't wait !!!! we get on so well and I don't have to do anything but be mum ,we talk all the time so he is well prepared but as he says' mum you are just you ' and 'I love you ' can you see why I just adore him!!
Here's a pic of the Xmas tree and its not a good one ! ,I took so many, and yesterday my cat knocked it over! so now its bent so I give up , lol and those cords ! im hoping they will be covered with the pile of presents as it grows.