Day 4 of treatment ...... a bit yuk!

The side affects are kicking in  a bit more now,  lots of sleepiness and nausea , have started taking the maxalon 2x a day today , ,I m still eating but my appetite is not what is was. which is probably a good thing. smell of cooking are getting to me a bit ,I    may even take people up on their offers to cook a meal , I dont take up many offers ,silly really as it will help . I've been getting in to my treatments early most days ,am back home again within the hour .  The worst time is the hour straight after ,and the ride home doesn't help as its like motion sickness so I feel every jolt ,brake etc on the road . I actually fell asleep on the way home today as I find if I  close my eyes it helps and I  drifted off .  I slept for most of the afternoon and I'm feeling a bit sick now so sitting up for a while may help it  pass .

Emtionally I'm feeling a bit numb ,I ve started to think a lot about what if ? after radiation ,the metastisis  come back ,quite negative thinking for me really ,usually im great at denial !lol ,I guess when you go through this everything seems so, or too much ,to comprehend at once and it comes through in dribs and drabs .I do feel  I'm wasting a lot of time! what I could be doing ,etc but I also know I've got to make getting well a priority .    I'm looking absolutely frightful too ,got a bit upset about that on the weekend too ,but I'm okay now ,I still do a good 'beauty '? regime  every night and morning  ,my skin has never been so soft lol ,red an d blotchy but its soft !   my  hair is growing really fast too ,its very grey but still with a few blonde bits ! Tiare thinks its a 'cool' colour  .I  will take some photos tomorrow, it's weird  but I  do want to remember what I  looked like going through  treatment .